Dietary Reset: Day FIVE MILLION probably
Weight: Why do you care so much?
Dieting is stupid.
Stupid, stupid stupid. Dieting is stupid. There, I said it.
But here’s the thing: I’m also quite stupid.
I’m a dense moron that eats too much of the things that aren’t good for me on a near-constant basis.
Unfortunately, knowing this already doesn’t make changing my habits easy. I still have to put in the work and think about how much junk I eat, and then eat less of it. It’s surprisingly difficult.
Which is why I’m glad I have help.
Right from the get-go I knew I’d need to call in back-up, so I joined a program to help me on my quest to be my “best self.” It’s got everything: recipes, cheat-sheets, a coach to keep me on track, a group I can bitch to when things get crappy, a calorie counter and a friggin’ built-in pedometer.
The program creators claim that their goal is to make me healthier and happier, but as far as I can tell it has one purpose: to completely invade my privacy.
I’ve got every food-related complex known to man: emotional eating, overeating, craving unhealthy foods, eating at bad times, shall I go on? The point is I am practically BEGGING to be called out about my bad habits here, and since my family loves and supports me no matter what (those bastards), I found someone I can pay to tell me to stop eating peanut butter from the jar.
With the help of my utterly invasive new best friends, I have learned that all too important lesson that all dieters learn again and again (and again): one of the hardest parts of any new diet is actually sticking to it.
After years of mindless eating, suddenly thinking about the junk you are consuming is a huge adjustment, and cravings abound. One of the hardest things for me was white-knuckling my way through my kit-lat bar cravings, trusting that I wouldn’t always have a biological need for them. I did manage to make it through, thanks to my support group and coach that reminded me I could do it, dammit! And I did! Huzzah all problems solved forever!
Just kidding. Finding a groove in my dieting doesn’t actually make this easier, I still have PLENTY of setbacks in my future (festival season anyone?). I just have to keep reminding myself that I have goals to make my dieting seem less stupid: I want to be healthy, I want to be strong, I want to become one of those insipid people that bores friends and coworkers with lists of the vegetables they ate last weekend.
…I mean really is that too much to ask?