I’m aliiivvve! Allow me to explain…

Dear adoring public,


Sorry I’ve been away, I’ve been busy. With what you ask? Well…

You know how when you start a new job and everything is awesome and you totally have time for everything in your life because you’re a modern human person and all that crap except modern society is a lie and you don’t get anything done because you’re so friggin exhausted?

Oh you do, good that saves me a lot of time.

I started a new and wonderful job (yay!)…about ten days before the end of my whole30 stretch (yay?). It was fine. Super fine. Nothing but totally fine-ness.

Ok it sucked.

Don’t get me wrong, the job is awesome, and I have wonderful coworkers who are kind, hardworking people, but you reach a certain point in the whole30 that’s a bit hard to explain. I liken it to hitting the wall, where your thought process is something like “If I have to explain this whole process one more effing time I am going to find the roof and fling myself off it.”


Ok, so that’s a bit dramatic, but imagine trying to adjust to a new big change; trying to find your rhythm and not completely embarrass yourself on your first day, and add on a complicated self-imposed dietary thing.

All I wanted to think about was where to find the good coffee and concentrate on not accidentally swearing in front of my new boss. But I had the bright idea to give up EVERYTHING for 30 days, so I had to think about reading labels and sugar content and whether or not something was made with clarified butter! AND I had to be nice to people and explain why I couldn’t eat the food they offered to share with me!

I was exhausted, except exhausted was an epic understatement.

So, instead of telling my harrowing dos on my days off, I pretty much just faceplanted into my pillow and stayed lodged there for…eh, two, maybe three weeks.

So now we play the game of catch up, but I promise I’ll tell you everything. If you care. If not too bad because this is cathartic, so HA!

Love and kisses,

The hostile dieter


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