Balsamic Roast Beef…because it’s awesome that’s why.

Whole30: Day 24

I’ve always liked balsamic vinegar, but since I started whole30 I don’t like it anymore…

Now I loooooove balsamic vinegar. It’s awesome and amazing and it goes on all my food…or you know, it should.

Last week I made balsamic roast beef, because if there are two things in this world that I love more than balsamic vinegar and roast beef I have yet to find them (I’m not including people in this scenario).

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There is a bit of a “cut and run” quality to this recipe, which makes me like it all the more. Though of COURSE when I was making it I hit upon several snafus…. come on, when has anything I have ever attempted gone smoothly on the first try?

First, the recipe calls for coconut aminos…which, I didn’t know what those were. A little research told me that coconut aminos are a soy sauce substitute, because, you know, I can’t have soy sauce right now or anything great.

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I had to go to three different fancy food stores to find coconut aminos, all of them just way too ridiculously healthy and trendy (who on earth wants a grow your own kombucha kit?). But I found it! Now I have alterna-soy sauce! This opens up my wooooorllllddddd!

Yes I’m excited. These are the kinds of things I get excited about now.

Second, the recipe calls for broth, which made me happy because I already had broth! Yay not having to go shopping for something!

Of course when I looked at the ingredients list on the broth (It’s become a full-on reflex) guess what was in it?

Honey.

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Honey?

HONEY!?!?!?

WHAT. THE HELL. IS HONEY DOING IN BROTH?!?!?!?!

I can’t eat honey, I’m not allowed to eat honey! So what is it doing in my broth????

Thankfully, I haven’t had cause to use it in a recipe yet this month, so I know I’m in the clear. Yes I was pissed, very pissed, but if I’ve learned anything from whole30 it’s how to improvise. I dug around in my refrigerator and found some homemade chicken stock courtesy of Husband-of-the-future. Mix that with a bit of water, TA DAAAAA!

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So I rescued the recipe, now I had to cook it. Guess what? Super easy. Seriously, stick a roast in a slow cooker, add garlic, salt and pepper, diced onion and mushroom, and cover in balsamic vinegar, broth and coconut aminos. Then walk away while it cooks on low for eight hours.

Strictly speaking, the finished product was less roast beef-like and more pot roast-y, and after I removed the roast and blended the other ingredients into gravy, it was less gravy-ish and more jus-ish.

So I didn’t cook exactly what I was expecting, it was still ridiculously delicious so who cares?

There’s also a ton of extra gravy/jus stuff leftover, like, an absurd amount. I cannot wait to put this miraculous concoction on…everything. It’s going on everything.

Oh this is going to be marvelous…

Here’s the recipe, it’s awesome even if it’s not quite what was advertised:

2-4 lb. roast

6 cloves garlic, minced

1 onion, diced

6 mushrooms, diced

1 cup broth

1/2 cup balsamic vinegar

2 Tbsp. coconut aminos

salt and pepper to taste

Season the roast with salt and pepper and place in the slow cooker fat side down. Add garlic, onion and mushrooms. Cover with chicken or beef broth, balsamic vinegar and coconut aminos. Add additional salt and pepper and cook on low for 8 hours. Remove the roast from the pot and add the other ingredients to a blender or food processor and blend until smooth. Serve and enjoy.

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