Surviving social interactions with potatoes!

Whole30: Day 20

Got a good news/bad news scenario: I’m going to a barbecue!

Oh god, I’m going to a barbecue.

I’M. GOING. TO. A. BARBECUE. Full of beer and grilled stuff drenched in sugar-filled sauces, served on buns made of wheat. If that’s not enough there will be people eating whatever the hell they want.

I can’t decide if I’m excited to test my resolve or dreading this with every fiber of my being…

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Yeah, definitely dreading. I’ve never been to a barbecue where I couldn’t shotgun hot dogs (I always get three; one ketchup, one mustard, one ketchup and mustard). So I find myself facing a dilemma…

What the hell am I supposed to eat?

So I decided to be a good guest and bring food I can actually eat: traditional German potato salad. It’s pretty different from other types of potato salad, loaded down with mayo and celery. Traditionally the German counterpart is served warm, and instead of being coated in mayonnaise it’s got a mustard and vinegar base. This is awesome for me because even if I had the patience to make whole30 mayonnaise, I still wouldn’t eat it because I hate mayonnaise in all its various forms!

If the lack of mayo wasn’t a huge incentive to cook the crap out of these potatoes, I’m saving the best for last: German potato salad has bacon in it. I believe I’ve made my feelings on bacon clear, but just in case:

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I LOOOOOOOOOVE bacon.

I hope I’m doing an excellent job selling this concoction, but just in case: this stuff is AWESOME, and it’s not too complicated to make.

First, boil the potatoes, and while they’re cooking, make the dressing, which is apple cider vinegar, mustard, and salt and pepper. Then, fry the bacon in a skillet, and when it’s done cook the onions in the bacon fat until they’re soft, and add the dressing to the skillet. Then when the potatoes are done you just cut them up and mix everything together.

The one wrinkle in adapting this recipe was that it has sugar in it. You’re supposed to add a few tablespoons of sugar to the dressing, and I can’t eat sugar right now! So I had to leave it out. Thankfully it doesn’t ruin the recipe, the lack of sugar just makes it taste more vinegar-y. I ended up adding more mustard to the mix. Like, a lot more mustard. Like, I discarded the measuring spoon and just let ‘er rip.

I also love mustard.

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I’ve tested it (for everyone’s safety) and had a third-party (aka Husband-of-the-future) test it, we both agree it’s really, ridiculously good, and while the traditional serving is hot off the stove, it’s fine cold.

Also apparently Husband-of-the-future REALLY talked this up, so here’s hoping that 1) the other guests like it, and 2) they don’t eat all of it before I get some.

Oh god I hope this goes well…

Lessons learned:

I love bacon

I love mustard

I LOOOOOOOVE German potato salad

Recipe

2 lbs. potatoes (I use red potatoes)

1/3 cup apple cider vinegar

1 Tbsp. mustard

2 oz. bacon

1 onion, diced

salt and pepper to taste

Scrub the potatoes and set them in the pot to cook until fork tender. While they’re cooking, mix the apple cider vinegar, mustard, and pepper and set aside. Cut the bacon into 1 inch pieces and cook in a skillet until crispy, remove from pan and set aside. Add the onion to the pan and cook until the onion is soft and transparent, turn off the heat and add the dressing to the pan and stir until mixed and the dressing has thickened slightly. Once the potatoes are cooked, cut them into smaller pieces and mix in the dressing mixture and the bacon. Add salt and pepper to taste.

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