The hangover is here!

Whole30: Day 4

Well I feel like crap.

My head is killing me, my back and shoulders are having NONE of it, and my brain feels like its stuffed with cotton.

I looked it up and apparently this is a normal reaction this early in my quest for better health. My body is craving the food it’s used to, and now since I’m being a jerk and depriving it of the things it wants, like dairy and sugar (and BREAD, god I miss bread), it is rebelling.

In other words, I’m detoxing!

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THIIIIIISSS SSSSSSUUUUUUUUCCCCCKKKKKKKKSSSSSS.

I read about the possibility of a “food hangover” when I was getting ready to start, but of COURSE I was sure that this wouldn’t happen to me. After all I’m better than everybody that’s done this before.

Yah.

That’s why I went to bed at 8:45 last night, and that’s why I had a dream in which I went to New York, met Chris Evans, then ended up at a pub shotgunning “forbidden” food, before running into a girl I went to elementary school with who had NO memory of who I was but who I could feel judging me for the number of fried appetizers I was surrounded by.

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The last time I had dreams this vivid, I had a fever of 103.  Even in that state I never dreamed about downing jalapeño poppers by the handful with Captain America himself.

I’ll be honest, right at this moment I’d like to listen to my dreams; quit this fool’s errand and dive head-long into a pizza, with a side of onion rings, and a hot fudge sundae chaser. Hell, at this point I’d settle for milk in my morning coffee.

But I won’t do it. Really, I won’t.

One reason I thought this whole30 thing would be a good idea was that if you cheat you have to start all over again.

So, either you stick with it for 30 days, or you end up trying and failing to finish the damn thing for the next decade. Since I’m a bit of a quitter health-wise, I figured the horrifying thought of a decade without cheese was good incentive to make me stick it out the month.

I don’t want to cheat and have to start over, and I really don’t want to quit; I didn’t get rid of all the peanut butter in my house just to call it after four days. Plus now that I know what I’m in for I’m afraid I’ll completely flake if I try to start over. 

exhausted

So…headache, exhaustion, and a diabetic’s fantasy it is!

I really hope this phase ends soon, it’s creepy and confusing. I woke up convinced that after all my posturing about getting my overeating under control, I had actually gotten up, bought a cheesecake, and sat on my bed eating it with a fork.

I should have a word with my brain about this at some point, but alas at the moment I’m very busy trying to form coherent thoughts and hold my head up properly.

Maybe tomorrow I’ll feel better.

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