What’s my problem? Oh where to begin.

Whole30: Day 3

Recently, when I told somebody that I was trying whole30, they were more than happy to give me some advice:

If I really wanted to put an end to my issues with food, then I should get to the root of the emotional causes behind my overeating. You know, really delve in, find my flaws and lay shit bare so that I can move on and practice self-love.

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Don’t QUITE know how to say this, but…yeah I’ve done all of that. Many, many times.

To figure out why my relationship with food is so rocky, I’ve explored my psyche pretty much top to bottom. I’ve discussed the causes with family and friends, I’ve visited a doctor, kept a journal, attended therapy sessions. You name it.

And guess what? I know the reasons I overeat. But finding the cause to a problem doesn’t make it go away; just ask any scientist combating climate change.

If you’ve never had psychological issues related to food, let me be the first to say that I’m incredibly jealous, and that my problems may be very difficult for you to understand.

Explaining complex food-related issues like overeating to a person that doesn’t have experience with them is difficult. There are entire fields of study devoted to exploring the many factors that can cause these problems; I’m just one person with a blog, but I’ll give it a shot.

Everybody’s different. I overeat partly because of genetics, and partly because I just like food. I have family history up the wazoo: depression, eating disorders, weight issues, I could go on, suffice it to say “oreo addict” was practically spray-painted all over my DNA. Add societal pressures, environmental factors, and a real love of food and cooking, stopping the overeating is easier said than done. I mean, food’s important.

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For a moment, consider the role that food plays in your life. Think about the last vacation you went on, or the last time you saw your family, what about the last date you had… I’m sure a HUGE part of whether or not you enjoyed the experience depends on the answer to a single question:

“So, how was the food?”

Food is such an important and complicated aspect of how we interact with and enjoy the world. Plus it’s pretty important for survival; it’s not like I can combat overindulging in food by not eating, that’s an entirely separate issue.

Even if I could remove food from my life, it’s not like temptation disappears; there are advertisements for it everywhere, plus as I type this I am less than 300 steps from a convenience store that sells the best potato chips I have ever eaten in my entire life.

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Seriously. Some days it is all I can think about.

Yes, I know I overeat, yes, I know the reasons behind why I do it, and yes, I am attempting something that is a MASSIVE pain in the ass…

But I want to try it.

Like I said, everybody’s different, and what works for some people doesn’t work for others. In my case, talking about my overeating doesn’t work, buying lo-cal junk doesn’t work, and going on a diet doesn’t work. So what the hell is wrong with trying something that encourages me to spend 30 days stepping back from bad habits and actually paying attention to my body?

Seriously, what’s the problem here: either I fail and I learn something about myself, or I succeed and I learn something about myself. Either way, guess what?

I win.

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