Facebook can bite me.

Whole30: Day 3

I hate cookies.

Not the food cookies, I love those cookies. I’m talking about the internet cookies that live in my computer and know how my brain works.

Okay so I don’t know internets, so not the point.

The point is that I guess I’ve been googling things like “healthy” and “fitness” a lot lately, because cookies is up to NO GOOD. Now thanks to ad-blocker resistant software on facebook, every time I update my status, I find “suggested posts” about miracle diets or fitness plans that will make me lose weight in the blink of an eye!

Oh for FUCKS sake.

I haven’t eaten bread in FIFTY. THREE. HOURS. I absolutely do not want to hear about any miracle whatevers right now.

And stop taking me for an easy mark! I’m smart, dammit! I WILL NOT FALL FOR YOUR LIIIIIEEEEEESSSSSSSSS!

If I see one more thing about a miracle quick-fix ANYWHERE on the internet, I will evolve beyond the need for human form, travel through my computer into the internet and punch facebook where the sun don’t shine.

 

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